Indeed I Do

"I do - oh, indeed I do - desire to live up to my profession, to be His, for time and eternity. But I am learning to see how very weak I am, and how easily Satan can conquer me even when I do strive against him. I do believe with my head that Jesus can, and will give me His grace, and I do not need to fear, yet somehow my heart seems to be hard and cold and not to take it in. Oh, if we were but there - where there is no more sin! Oh, do not forget to pray for me, and don't ever doubt the love of your unworthy friend." -Frances Ridley Havergal 

This sums up what I have been struggling with for a while. I do believe in my head that Jesus can, and will give me His grace, but my heart doubts. I crave the day that I might be in heaven, where there is no sin, no doubting; where I can be with my Savior and see Him without a veil. There is a great chasm that I cannot cross when I read the Scripture and pray. I am held back by pride and selfish desires. I'm human. I have a stubborn will, and I want what I want. But that may not be what He wants for me. 
As I go through my days, the fifth verse of this hymn is what goes through my mind. 

1. Take my life and let it be
   Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
   Take my moments and my days,
   Let them flow in endless praise.
2. Take my hands and let them move
   At the impulse of Thy love.
   Take my feet and let them be
   Swift and beautiful for Thee.
3. Take my voice and let me sing,
   Always, only for my King.
   Take my lips and let them be
   Filled with messages from Thee.
4. Take my silver and my gold,
   Not a mite would I withhold.
   Take my intellect and use
   Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
5. Take my will and make it Thine,
   It shall be no longer mine.
   Take my heart, it is Thine own,
   It shall be Thy royal throne.
6. Take my love, my Lord, I pour
   At Thy feet its treasure store.
   Take myself and I will be
   Ever, only, all for Thee.
7. -Frances Havergal

Kaelan